Grief…there is no way out, but there is a way through.

As in any Journey there is a beginning, a middle and the destination, and so it is in grief. In grief, the beginning is finding yourself in a whole new world, the grief world. In grief, the destination is “finding yourself” in a now familiar world, the grief world.

It’s the phases that matter not the stages

Many refer to the stages of grief as a rigid process typically experienced in the first year of grief. From my experience, its not the stages, but rather the phases, I’m sharing with you here, that are critical to making ones way through grief. The stages are possible, in any order, though they don't have to be one’s experience to move through grief. Continual awareness and processing the grief goo is imperative to a quality of life in the journey through the grief world.

Survival

Survive...if even barely

I understand! BE BREATHE & BELIEVE

You will survive, your loved one is not lost, you are loved.  One second, one breath at a time. It will stretch to a minute, an hour, a day etc. You must BE with it and allow it.

coming alive

Coming Alive...if even barely

Yes, a year, at least, has passed though time is not the same and feels irrelevant. You are still in survival mode but getting so weary, so very weary of just surviving. The grief goo is still so heavy. At some point it will be time, the perfect time for you, time to choose.  How will you know? How is it even possible to choose??

thrive

Thrive...if even barely

When the season of coming alive is embraced, the possibility of“thriving” will flow. How can one possibly thrive in the grief world? I look forward to embracing this phase of grief with you in celebration of surviving and being alive after experiencing hell on earth in the grief world.

HOW?

The time frames for these phases of grief can and will vary grateful for each person with a Shattered heart.  Just as each of us is a completely unique being, our journey through life and its challenges are equally unique.  

The phases do run sequentially and the first phase, SURVIVAL , in my experience is minimally a year.  This phase can stretch on for years,  even decades as to move into the next phase of Coming Alive ,if even barely, will require a conscious choice and declaration. It’s more often the shear exhaustion of being in SURVIVAL that will create the possibility for wanting to COME ALIVE.

The transition from Surviving to Coming Alive is the most critical and also the most challenging aspect of moving through the grief journey but its also imperative in healing the shattered heart and creating the possibility of a positive experience in the grief world.  

The Coming Alive phase will naturally transition into Thriving, if even barely, as the new shore in the grief world is reached and the the experience of life in the grief world, with your loved one forever with you,  unfolds.